The Sad Reality
Should we stay together for the good of our children? That is a question that many parents have asked themselves. Divorce rates are higher every year and sometimes parents are not aware of the consequences that it could causes to their own kids. Parental divorce creates strong psychological effects in children.
Divorce causes lot of emotional confusion and frustration in infants’ regular lives. They worry about their parents love towards them. Kids are afraid that the love their parents feel won’t last forever. Children also do not understand why they live in two different homes with two different families. There are situations that the youngest kids blame themselves thinking that their parents’ separation was their fault. In other cases, they get very mad at one of the parents blaming one for the breakup. ”About 75% of all children oppose their parents’ divorce. The other 15% are children who frequently witness their parents’ loud arguments, accusations and even physical violence. As a result, they do not oppose the divorce because they just want the fighting to stop”(Bilota)
Divorce also means that the infant may lose close contact with one parent which most of the time is the father. Researches have proven that they feel less close to their dad after divorce. The mother’s relationship with the kids is being affect by divorce as well. Single mothers have a very high stress level. Trying to play the role of mother, father, and making sure that there is food on the table, children feel unsupported because they are not getting the proper attention. Adding that discipline starts being very inconsistent.
In the other hand, the parents’ separation I not the hardest part, but moving to a new home, and sometimes to another town. Also changing schools and trying to make new friends and leaving the old ones away are enormous changes many kids never get used to it.
There is a high percentage of parents remarry within the 5 to 6 years after divorce. The addition in a kid’s lives of a step-father, and provably step-siblings is a strong change as well. They could even get confuse about who his real father is, or how to call daddy. Since the divorce rates are high there is a big probability that the second marriage will last even less than the previous one by meaning that kids could have different families in a short period of time, leading to instability.
Divorce could also affect the child academic performance. Infants from divorce parents do not regular do well at school. Studies have showed that these children have lower scores on achievement test than children with two-parents families. Due to all the problems they have suffered throughout their short lives, they have difficulties to focus and to concentrated.
Last but not least, children with divorced families could experience more externalizing problems, example of conduct disorders, impulse behavior, and delinquency. They may say bad words at the school and be respectful with their professors and classmates because of what they see in their regular lives. There is a big chance that these kids will have unsuccessful relationships because of they live they have live.
In conclusion, if you are a mom or a dad I truthy recommend you to think more in your child before making any decisions. You want to minimize the phycological effects of the most important creature in our life. Make sure to meet their expectations and their basic needs. Always remember that children need to be care by their mother and father. Kids are not guilty of your decisions, and no matter what happens they will always be your best creation.