It definition, “tough-love” parenting is one of the

It has been noticed with concern that each parenting styles possesses their specific merits and demerits. On the authority of Baumrind’s research, there are three models of parental control which are authoritarian, authoritative and permissive parenting. In fact, as the definition, “tough-love” parenting is one of the styles excluding from the Baumrind’s research. This expression was first utilized by Bill Milliken in his 1968 book with the same name “Tough Love”. According to some reports and some previous researches, it was generally reckoned that this “tough-love” parenting style shares some similarities with Baumrind’s authoritative one. “Parents of the children who were the most self-resilient, self-controlled, explorative and content were themselves controlling and demanding; but they were also warm, rational and receptive to the child’s communication. This unique combination of high control and positive encouragement of the child’s autonomous, and independent strivings is called authoritative style” (Baumrind, D. (1971), p22-23). Tough-love parenting has a strong influence on children’s life as well.Firstly, tough-love parenting highly develop nice personality of children. Children brought up by parent opting “tough-love” parental choice in education are better prepared to do well in their future. Personality is one of the crucial factors which decide whether a person would be successful or not. The Baumrind’s research reveals that “the permissive parent attempts to behave in a nonpunitive, acceptant and affirmative manner toward the child’s impulses, desires, and actions” (Baumrind, D. (1971), p.889). The parent enables their kids to indulge themselves for anything they want. However, the overly comfortable parenting can easily lead to some negative outcomes of children as displaying more aggression or less emotional understanding, being unable to manage their time or habits or suffering from delinquency or substance use (Cherry, K. (2017)). Conversely, “the authoritarian parent attempts to shape, control and evaluate the behaviors and attitudes of the child in accordance with a set standard of conduct, usually an absolute standard, theologically motivated and formulated by a higher authority” (Baumrind, D. (1971), p.890). Nevertheless, this very strict parenting can make children feel stress, lack decision-making ability, fear of failure or have trouble in dealing with negative emotions (Maheswari, S. (2017)). To address almost the negative effects of two kinds of parenting, parent should follow the tough-love parenting or authoritative parenting. It is important to nurture a child to be empathetic, resilient, patient and know how to protect themselves from temptation. Parents choosing “tough-love” parenting are well aware of balancing warmth with discipline, which is the most effective way to raise their children. The children receiving a combination of affection and regulation are well develop personality traits such a self-control, determination or empathy.Secondly, some parents choose “tough-love” parenting to rear their kids with high hopes for making a good orientation for their children. Mother and father are the older generation, as a general rule, they gain more experience which enable them to get more lessons, therefore, easily pass down these to posterity. Tough-love parents with their confidence and accomplishment, would have the right way to share their knowledge with their children. Parents who take tough-love child-rearing are doing their offspring a favour, not imposing. It is good for children to decide their own way; however, if they receive a strongly support from their parent, it would be better. Tough-love parents neither show their affection as the permissive parents nor do they force the discipline as the authoritarian parents. In other words, the former and the latter blend together perfectly. Parents taking tough-love parenting respect and restrict their children simultaneously. They acknowledge their responsibility for giving their kids some advice, indicating the shorter way to catch the desire and to be successful faster. Being brought up with tough-love parenting, children would have a very good chance of having a sense of well-being that parents always stand with them and ready to support them whenever possible.


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